


Black Sea

by londie



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode: s01e28 The City on the Edge of Forever, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, because the final scene implies how ravaged he was by the whole ordeal, how jim coped after that episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 21:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11044746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londie/pseuds/londie
Summary: "But he didn’t move. The hollow thud of Edith’s body kept replaying in his head, over and over. It eroded him like waves do against a shore."





	Black Sea

If space was a black sea, then the newest wave must have washed in a school of stars. Debris floating in front of radiant planets, red and gold and blue, infracted their light and took on a rainbow lustre. 

It was a coral reef in space, and Captain Kirk wasn’t watching a moment of it. 

Countless stars, shimmering in and out like fish, filled the Enterprise bridge with a soft glow. Even more feather-like were the mellow hums and whirs surrounding the crew. But no one moved at all.

They were all staring out at the spectacle with the same glazed eyes of a scuba-diver at sea. 

 

Even Commander Spock was motionless. In the command chair, he was in exactly the right position for nearby debris to reflect their light across his face. It lit up a stripe of rainbow over his eyes.  

“Back to work,” he announced, eventually. 

No one argued, but protest still hung heavy in the air. 

Outside, stars shone like sunlight on water, suspended like flotsam. Upon swinging closer into the ship, the commander chair is empty. Mr Spock is through the automatic doors and quickly down several blue-lit corridors. He knocks at a door, and inside is Captain Kirk. 

 

“No, Jim!”

Spock’s shout. McCoy’s shirt in his hands. The screech of tyres. The two dull thunks of a skull hitting the car, then the pavement. 

McCoy’s voice in his ear.

_Do you know what you’ve done?_

Hot blood pulsed in Jim’s ears as he let go of McCoy. Unsteady, he stepped away. His brain felt like it would explode - he could barely think, couldn’t even cry. 

He clenched his fist, trembling, near his mouth. Tried not to drift away from his own body. 

But the shrieks of bystanders already sounded so distant. His skin already felt colder than the wind. 

“Yes, Doctor. He knows.”

Out of all the noise growing whiter and whiter, it was Spock’s voice that sounded right next to his ear. Its effect was dragging Jim back to earth in an instant. 

There was the body. There was the road. And there was Mr Spock, a carefully-designed distance away - his level of logic shaped his every move. 

But Jim’s insides were a ship tossed in a thunderstorm,  so he clung like a wet rat to whatever logic he could find. He had to trust Spock. 

“We should go, Captain.”

His voice: a steady lighthouse. It guided Jim through the storm of guilt saturating his brain. 

He unclenched his fist. 

“Yes, Mr Spock.” 

 

“Yes, Mr Spock?” 

Jim was staring at the ceiling on his purple bed. But at Spock’s knock, he got up on his elbows. The doors slid shut behind him as Spock estimated the logical distance from the bed (Jim assumed) and clasped his hands behind his back.

“I’m sorry to bother you, Captain, but there is quite a view outside.” 

“A view?”

Spock’s lips twitched slightly - annoyance? Embarrassment? - before they were stilled by his usual control. 

“I was merely attempting to see from a human perspective, for your sake, Captain. I assumed you would like a view. I’m unaffected by it.” 

Jim felt his own lips move in a smile he couldn’t suppress. It stunned him a little, at a time like this, with a body so hollow. 

“Of course.” 

 

But he didn’t move. The hollow thud of Edith’s body against the car kept replaying in his head, over and over. It eroded him like waves do against a shore. 

He let her die. He had no choice, but he let her die. He stood at the edge of the road, in safety, and watched her get knocked down. It would have been so easy to save her. 

How could he resume command? If he couldn’t have saved her, then how could he save anyone? Who else would he let die? 

The fact that he had no choice seemed to be worth nothing. It was like a shout - “No, Jim!” - against the crash of waves. The crash of a car against a limp body. 

 

The walls cast a purple glow over Spock. That must have been the trick of light that suddenly made his face so gentle. 

“Captain, I had hoped that the human desire for a view might have roused you. As you are still inert, I must say: I need you back on the bridge.”

Somehow, with every sombre word, the storm thrashing Jim’s brain quieted.

 Spock made more sense than whatever Jim was feeling. Being around Spock always made his emotions make sense.

 _And I need_ you _on the bridge,_ Jim thought. 

He trusted the logic that was so much a part of him. And if Spock said he needed him on the bridge… perhaps he could resume command. Perhaps he could keep people safe. If Spock says so. 

_Do you know what you’ve done?_

Jim remembered Bones hissing that. Felt his breath on his ear. His outrage. 

_Yes, Doctor._

Spock’s voice.

_He knows._

 

_Do you know what you’ve done? / Yes, Doctor, he knows._

_Do you know what you’re doing? / Yes, Jim, you know._

Spock’s trust in him, based on logic and loyalty. 

It gives him…  emotional security. 

 

"It’s time, Captain.” 

“Thank you, Mr Spock.”

 

Their footsteps echoed back down the blue-hued hallways. Doors slid open with a whoosh, admitting them onto the bridge. The crew heard a small puff of air as the captain sat in his chair. Spock’s footsteps also stilled at that point; he would remain beside Jim as long as he could.

After that, only the whir and hum of the Enterprise could be heard. Everyone was still gazing at the display of the universe, awash in starlight and rainbow debris. 

Jim watched, and with Spock by his side, could clearly hear himself think. The shrieks, the scream of tyres, the thuds of a body, were no longer in his mind. 

All was quiet in the vast, black sea.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! and thanks sm for any comments, they help me out a lot :) 
> 
> tumblr: londonlock


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